Psalm 103:1-4 – “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion”
Last weekend’s service preached on God being our peace – Jehovah Shalom. It is one that manifests itself in known and unknown ways. It tends to be an internal one, but can manifest itself in bold and surprising ways. It’s interesting how Shalom in its own right is a greeting, Hebrew for “God be with you” – I suppose the presence of God and His intervention is paramount for peace.
I cannot say that I am truly at peace with where I am, but that is because I am looking at it from the very human perspective – finding equilibrium, or being in control. Yet I was calm this week, because circumstances played out, blessing after blessing. It was a good week, I won’t deny that.
03.09.12 As off-kilter as the subsequent portion may seem here, I feel that I really want to catalogue/chronicle as much of my thoughts as possible on this blog, even if they may seem incoherent collectively – such are the rambles and musings that I pour into my Muji diary when I am in camp.
Sleep in camp has been particularly odd last night, as was the nap in the morning. At hearing my alarm in the morning, I simply couldn’t figure out what that noise was – such a feeling was surreal, otherworldly. I suppose I was still in my dreamscapes. Then came the oddity of a nap sometime in the morning – I guess I was in a partially awake state, or perhaps in a moment of delirium; I started to get panicky, worrying about where I had placed my glasses. Yet I was still in my bed, unable to search around (or perhaps I did, in a state of sleep-walking/moving). Only later did the realization hit me that it was on the bed’s headboard, where I always leave it when I lie down.
Madness is prevalent in my camp, but then again, what is normalcy when one’s state of rationality and level-headedness isn’t part of the status quo. Every day, people shout for no reason, yelling things with all the air in their lungs, when simply speaking it out with a normal tone would suffice. Daily, conflicts arise for highly silly reasons, especially over pride-related issues. But lunacy on a level that I witnessed on Monday afternoon was unprecedented – many people do try to escape outfield moments, but it was the first time I had witnessed anyone resorting to self-injury to do so. I shall cease to discuss this any further, except by saying that he needs help – lest it spirals into something far more detrimental.
04.09.12 – 05.09.12 The actual outfield experience this time around was quite relaxed – that I must admit. Such was the case because we weren’t actually on any form of military exercise, rather, we were offering another unit (let’s call them Five) support services – we were the enemies that they were to attack. All of us were issued with a little laser-emitting gadget that was supposed to track how we fire at others (and how they were wounded or killed) and vice versa. My unit didn’t work, so there wasn’t any incentive for me to actually shoot any blank rounds – I couldn’t be “killed”, nor could I “kill” any of those people charging at me, so I was as good as a spectator. That lightened one burden for me – having to expend many rounds, and consequently having to clean my rifle particularly thoroughly.
I got a chance to catch up on some snooze in the night as well, just prior to the morning attack that the Five were supposed to execute, because they came late – at least an hour or so. Coupled with my defective electronic laser unit, I didn’t really need to put up a fight.
The next day featured a different terrain – this time around, we weren’t in a forested area, but rather, an urban setting. By the grace of God, I got selected to be stationed inside an SUV – we were to patrol the area for Five troops, and fire at them. In the end, because of how things played out (it was remarkably difficult to communicate with others when one was roaming around in an SUV – the communication equipment were really lousy), we ended up doing more waiting than actually moving around – which was a good thing, it involved sitting down inside a vehicle. Nothing more.
06.09.12 – 07.09.12
Joshua 23:8 – “But you are to hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have until now.”
Theft cases occur rather often in my camp, but I think have been spared, until now. I didn’t lose much, simply because I didn’t bring much cash to camp, but just the notion that someone around me would steal is rather vexing. I suspect I had forgotten to lock my cupboard – that is my own misdoing, but that doesn’t give that individual an excuse to help himself to the contents of my wallet.
I take back the statement that I have been spared thus far – there was another incident where my wallet was found to be completely empty; back then, I had suspected that I had forgotten to bring cash into camp.
I must be more cautious. There’s a kleptomaniac in camp, no there isn’t. There’s probably someone who needs money to indulge in cigarettes, and conveniently helps himself to others’. But I’m being harsh here – such a statement implicates almost everyone in my camp as a suspect, and that most definitely isn’t the case. Justice and vengeance is the Lord’s, and I must hold on to that fact, and be more careful.
We booked out by 5pm on Thursday, as there was a platoon barbeque at a sergeant’s place the following day – that proved a slightly awkward few hours, if anything. I suppose I just have a hard time bonding with most of my platoon mates – we are so very different. But it was most definitely interesting to see them outside of camp, and to see a different (non-military) side to them.
I was still quite hungry after leaving the barbeque, so I suggested to CL to join me for dinner deux at Fei Fei – it was my first time trying it after hearing so much about it from Joel during my JC years. It wasn’t bad, though not as good as Foong Kee in Chinatown.
09.09.12 I decided to give the Sunday service a miss this weekend because of the Army Half Marathon (AHM) that we were required to attend – thankfully, we were participating in the 5km version of it, instead of the longer distance races. It was an early morning – I woke up at 5am, even earlier than I would in camp, and all that was in my mind was to get it over and done with. I wasn’t the only one with such a desire – I suspect most of the NSFs there felt the same, especially since most (myself included) would get a day off on Monday in return for our participation. I suppose that’s a good deal. It was really messy there, the place was chock full of people, and needless to say, the initial idea of ‘running as a platoon/company’ proved unfeasible – that allowed me to walk a large bulk of the route (and allowed me to avoid sweating much). Plus the weather was good, and there were many interesting sights to behold (such as the vast openness of the undeveloped portions of Marina Bay, or some historic buildings here and there – I’m such an architecture geek).
It wasn’t long before it was over (far earlier than I had expected, might I add), and CL and I headed to the Asian Civilisation Museum to freshen up. YL wouldn’t join us – he was too keen on dashing home to reclaim his weekend duty as a keyboard warrior. That aside, it was great to escape from the crowd – who’d ever think of using the loos at a museum: no one my age would (well, barely anyone if I were to get into the technicalities of things). And then came a short but good breakfast at Blackbird Cafe – a basket of bread, a pot of Darjeeling and most importantly, good company and a cosy environment. It was a good morning, without doubt. CL left soon after the meal, and I wandered off into the Peranakan museum – I’m also a culture geek. I really love the Armenian Street area; it’s so quaint and historic. And then there was lunch at Saveur with the folks afterwards.
It was a good day. It was a peaceful day.
It was a good week. It was a peaceful week.
It will be a good week – I hope.
musings 